Inagural Table

In the first game session the Player found themselves in the empty home of a failed evil Wizard without any starting money or equipment.  I made the table below to give them some items they could sell to outfit themselves in the style off adventurers. It turned out rather long.

TABLE OF SEMI-VALUABLE WIZARD JUNK – The PC's might not think to take some of this stuff, but it's all worth something.  Can be used to decorate the homes of evil sorcerers and break up the monotony of hordes of gold and silver.

 

Roll	Value and Item
1	10 gp – Quaint wicker wall hanging of tentacled arcane horror that looks impressively scary and rustic.
2	10 gp – Sinister book titled “curses” - contains insults and obscenities for every occasion.
3	10 gp – Skull candle holder, with copper dish set in top of real skull
4	10 gp – Bolt of rough black cloth patterned with dread emblems in red.
5	10 gp – Jar of pickled goblin eyes (snack, regent or trophy?)
6	10 gp – Silver plated letter opener, embossed with the words “Hazar-Rassil Sorcerer’s Colloquium '21”.
7	10 gp – Sack of potatoes, with tiny screaming mouths. Fry up excellently.
8	10 gp – Garland of dried garlic, inexplicably dyed orange.
9	50 gp – Delicate 3' tall potted orchid, beautiful foliage, stunning flowers, likely carnivorous.
10	50 gp – Plain box of aromatic feasting tree resin.
11	50 gp – Five small glass jars labeled “Mummy Dust” - contain mummy dust.
12	50 gp – High quality knee-high black boots, slightly blood-stained.
13	50 gp – Mid-sized painting of Moktars playing cards at green felt table.
14	50 gp – Jackalope taxidermy (real).
15	50 gp – Chrome pepper grinder filled with common local spice mix.
16	50 gp – Small sack of silver nails.
17	50 gp – Copper statuette of wizard owner, only looks thinner and more attractive than real wizard.
18	50 gp – Earthenware jar filed with dried blue frogs – very poisonous if properly prepared.
19	50 gp – Pelt of the rare northern moss otter (green, looks like moss, feels like luxury)
20	50 gp - Tuning fork, made of unknown and unworkable alloy.
21	50 gp – Bone napkin ring with inlaid silver mystic symbols.
22	50 gp – Carefully bundled herbs tied with different colored strings.
23	50gp – Small skin bag of powdered diamond.
24	50 gp – Pewter and polished redwood wand with crystal orb head, say 'novelty use only' on base.
25	50gp – Antique plastic baby doll heads, 1d6 – worth 10gp each if not sold as a set.
26	50gp – Set of 1D8 silver place settings, crafted in sea monster motif. Worth 10 gp each set or 1gp per piece.
27	100 gp – 5 lb alloyed silver hand weight.
28	100 gp – Linen child's smock, seed pearls sequins in unsettling spiral designs.
29	100 gp – 10 sheets of postage stamps for distant and likely now defunct principalities.
30	100 gp – The horn of something very alien and very evil.
31	100 gp – Lovely cameo of haunted looking young woman, on broken silver chain.
32	100 gp - Lovely cameo of hideous beast, on broken silver chain.
33	100 gp – 6” tall well carved bone and horn game pieces, missing 1D4 pawns. If one paid a skilled craftsman 50gp to replace the pawns the set would be worth 300gp.
34	100 gp - Kraken shell inlaid concertina.
35	100 gp - 20' of rope made of silk and the tresses of drowned virgins.
36	100 gp – A per-collapse ornate silver cartridge pen, will write nicely in blue or black for the next 1,000 years.
37	100 gp – Preserved elf child, partially dissected to show anatomy.
38	100 gp – Manuscript for wizard's semi-autobiographical novel with ridiculous title (“Tyranny of My Immortal Destiny” or “An Eviscerator's Education”) of value to would be evil wizards and men of science for the dark secrets hinted at within. May be salable to novelty publisher.
39	100 gp – Utilitarian steel desk of the ancient style.
40	100 gp – Sealed leaded glass egg with small, visible ghost inside – agitated when shaken.
41	100 gp – Frozen Lightning.
42	100 gp – Fetish doll, made of finger bones and twisted witch grass.
43	100 gp – Quality woman's dress, in height of fashion, still in packaging of Denethix boutique. 50% package also contains ½ finished love note to unknown paramour.
44	100 gp – Bronze reading stand with continual continual light bar for reading ease.
45	100 gp – Set of well known thaumaturgic reference books.
46	100 gp - Model steam engine, brass and pewter.
47	100 gp – Well maintained set of mens' fancy dress – 1D20 decades out of style.
48	100 gp – Magically preserved raw prime triceratops steak in well labeled foil package. Stasis will end when package is opened.
49	100 gp – Obsidian sacrificial dagger with a sinister aura.
50	100 gp - Useless fragment of a fallen orbital god.
51	100 gp – Wine made from the distilled dreams of the eternal sleepers, tastes like wine.
52	100 gp – Several (1D8) porcelain figurines of cavorting dwarves. They are terribly stereotypical and likely to grievously offend more upstanding members of the race.
53	100 gp – Functional 2 to 10x variable optical microscope made of grey painted steel, tarnished brass plaque pinned to side reads “return to field service office if found.”
54	100 gp – Rubber stoppered test tube filled with golden liquid (ancient machine lubricating oil of incredible durability and viscosity – mostly harmless if swallowed).
55	100 gp – Ornate brass hookah, curlicues and rosettes abound.
56	100 gp – Ivory and gold inlaid rifle stock made from aromatic wood. Inlays show terrible blood rites.
57	100 gp – Ancient chalky gray titanium belt buckle, sculpted with comet clutched in monstrous fist.
58	100 gp – Clay tablet of obvious otherworldly providence, depicts mysterious and geometrically impossible city. Tablet smells of sea ice and is cold to the touch.
59	100 gp – Ashtray made of white ape hand.
60	100 gp – Small sick rock statute of a cheerful clown, in radiation proof leaded glass display case.
61	100 gp – Overstuffed leather chair, the chair isn't worth much, but the leather is worth 100gp as it comes from the speckled, acid spitting, mega-chameleon.
62	100 gp – Collection of several colors of small dragon scales (1 of each).
63	100 gp – Stoppered glass 5-gallon jug of glowing red liquid, 10' of illumination. toxic, smells like hot garbage if opened.
64	100 gp - Collection of 2D20 glass eyes of various species. Each eye is worth 5gp.
65	200 gp - Head of some sort of Man-lizard. Still alive, seems to enjoy hissing and biting, uncooperative.
66	200 gp – Press board Folio containing pornographic etchings, roll 1d6 (1-Humans 2-Elves 3-Halflings 4-Dwarves 5-Weird monsters 6-roll D4 more times, it's an orgy)
67	200 gp – Animated undead skeleton of a cat, silent but engages in normal cat activities. Excellent mouser.
68	200 gp – Manual of robot repair, would be worth a lot more if it wasn't a copy painstakingly transcribed onto parchment, illuminated and riddled with inaccuracies.
69	200 gp – An exotic lizard plant. As the seed pods mature they become wriggling black lizards that eventually scurry off.
70	200 gp – Dinosaur foot umbrella bucket. Contains 1D4 -1 umbrellas and 1D4 -1 canes.
71	200 gp – Small, lazy pure-bred lap dog, with crystal decorated collar. Dog is 50% likely to know some standard commands and it's silly name (on collar) and also 50% likely to yap at random and annoying times.
72	200 gp – Industrial grade alchemical furnace (weighs 300lbs).
73	200 gp – Glass terrarium with 1D12 colorful frogs and various odd plants. Frogs will dance to any source of music.
74	500 gp – mid-sized wooden packing create padded with straw and filled with various dried, canned and preserved delicacies, most wholly unknown to players and labeled in several strange languages.
75	500 gp – Golden tetrahedron. When rubbed with a bare hand (or otherwise able to absorb a harmless amount of life essence) a shimmering 6” hologram of a beautiful androgyne appears in the air above and silently relays an obviously plaintive message with a look of great sadness.
76	500 gp - 10 lb flawless purple crystal.
77	500 gp – aromatic clothing chest made of rare golden hardwoods and carved with scenes of a distant land.
78	500 gp – Solid Gold revolver with onyx grips, purely decorative, any gunsmith can tell that 9 times out of 10 it will explode if fired.
79	500 gp – An advanced hypersonic target tracking air-to-surface missile. Does 12D6 damage to ground targets (x2 to armored vehicles) if fired from the under wing hard-point of an ancient interceptor aircraft. Binary explosive, guidance system and solid booster are all totally inert if used in any other way. I repeat: If you aren't in a space-age fighter jet this thing is useless, and even if you are the ion cannons are a superior weapon.
80	500 gp – Delicate golden manacles, chain and collar.
81	500 gp – Ancient kitchen cleaning robot. Working condition, but needs plasma cell (plasma ammo modified by scientist will work) for 1D20 +2 months of operation. 20% chance will loudly proclaim “destroy all humanoids” when activated and every 1D10 hours. Has no offensive or defensive capability.
82	500 gp – Set of 2D6 pieces of laboratory glassware, each piece is worth 100gp.
83	500 gp – Extra large human-type skull, plated in silver and lined with padded canvas. It's obviously meant to be worn as a helmet.
84	500 gp – Glass case of dried flowers and mounted insects; all species in the case are long extinct.
85	500 gp – Phonograph of recent manufacture with large brass crank and horn. 1d6 records, roll d6 for genre 1- Moktar opera 2 – Accordions! 3 - Moody martial marches 4 – The soothing undersea song of the giant cuttlefish-sharks of the Pregnant Ocean 5- Girl group bubblegum pop 6- Beautiful Ethereal singing in an unknown language.
86	500 gp – The flame that will not die! Tiny blue stone statue of a fish, burns with a sickly white flame that sheds no heat and little light. Sought by sinister desert cult.
87	500 gp – The ritual bowl of a tribe of paleolithic troglodytes. Rustic carvings of hunting scenes on the polished brain case of a giant cave bear. A powerful artifact for ritual hunting magic, if one is a troglodyte shaman – a conversation starting punchbowl otherwise. (detects as magic).
88	1,000 gp – Ornate black velvet robes, worked with platinum, protonium and purplish noble copper wire. Designs are of alchemical tools and symbols, robe are AC8 but encumber as plate because of their weight and stiffness. (May be worn by spell casters)
89	1,000 gp – Rolled 10' x 10' Blueprints for ancient tower/subway system and or waste treatment facility, totally incomprehensible. Printed of translucent plastic.
90	1,000 gp – Ten large gold discs, attracted to each other like weak magnets, hum at irritating frequencies when touching
91	1,000 gp – Large 6' tall snail shell. Shell is beautifully patterned and brightly colored.
92	1,000 gp – Hand written field notes on local monster types. A diligent reader can read the monster stats and description of 1D20 monster types (DM's pick).
93	1,000 gp – 5 doeskin packets of unknown and rather potent hallucinogenic fungus. The fungus is various neon colors and will cause mostly pleasant vivid visual and auditory hallucinations for 2d20 + 6 hours with no after affects. The packets are beaded and embroidered in the style of the Northern barbarian tribes.
94	1,000 gp – 8” Evil platinum doll of demon baby, has movable arms, legs and head. Malice glares from its glowing green eyes and terrible mutterings that hint of murder and ruin can be heard if ear put to the doll's unmoving lips. No other effects – will absolutely not come to life and kill.
95	1,000 gp- The perfectly preserved arm of some kind of ancient military robot. It's made of some sort of ultra strong and light steel alloy. A skilled blacksmith might be able to melt the arm down and reforge it into a mid-sized +1 weapon or indestructible decorative urn.
96	1,000 gp – Crystal ball, non-magical, 3' diameter
97	1,000 gp – Rampant Taxidermy Peryton, on heavy wood stand (weighs 400lb – bulky).
98	5,000 gp – Crated marble floor tiles. Black marble with glowing green veining. 50 total, each 2' x 2'  weighing 10lbs and fragile.
99	5,000 gp – Leather Sack stuffed with hundreds of protonium washers … an enterprising adventurer might easily make a set of +2/+3 ring mail or studded leather from these.
100	10,000 gp – The living, balefully glowering eye of an avatar of Nyarlathotep, It's a pale yellow globe about the size of a grapefruit, hard as bone, with a black pupil in the center radiating constantly writhing green lightnings that flash through the rest of the eye. It will roll to watch anything interesting (to Nyarlathotep), especially the players.