SESSION IV
A CHILLING NOTE: The players cavalier attitude towards combat
with the denizens of the dungeon and wilderness finally ended in some
predictable deaths. Only a very lucky role, Lemon's high charisma
and the disturbing imperatives of the Gatehouse's automatons saved
the PC's.
Grimgrim – Fighting priest of the
fierce God of Dooms, Monstcrom! (M) Cleric 1
Lemon Jackson – An underclothed
wizard with strange yellow eyes and who tattoos himself with spells.
(M) Magic User 1
Hump – Dwarf with a fake beard, red splint armor festooned with axes & heavy crossbow. (M) Dwarf
1
Mukuls – Barbarian with
stereotypically savage strength and a fondness for axes large and
small. (M) Fighter 1
Drusilla – Eleven lass of a disturbingly unpleasant affect and taste for human babies. (F) Elf 1
DWARVES
ACCORDING TO MY PLAYERS:
Now Hump's player B was telling me all about Hump via email this
week, and the adventurers learned all these details from the memoir
that Hump was writing and which was found on his body. Hump was born
in the Smoggy Mountains, somewhere East of the Certopsian Plain to a
middle class Dwarven family. He had a normal childhood and was known
about his warren only for his skill at beer-pong and a couple of
other drinking games that dwarven children enjoy. In his teen years
he did a stint in the ore pits and was training to be a smelter and
hammerer. During this time he got involved with his local tunnel
patrol (something like a neighborhood watch/national guard, except
they go out and hunt goblins and other things that threaten dwarves,
but mostly goblins).
Hump so excelled at goblin killing that he was named neighborhood
watch warden, and sent for a several month training in tactics, book
keeping and advanced goblin slaughter set up by the Smoggy Warrens'
Dwarven Royal Guards – though Dwarves don't usually have kings,
being strict syndicalists, they do have Royal Guards as a standing
army.
Hump did well and spent a few happy years polishing brass tunnel
patrol badges and hacking up goblins and the odd mole-man, ghost
machine or slimecroc (B claims these things live in the Smoggy
Mountains and they sound good to me – especially the ghost
machine). At some point he go tricked into investing in a risky
tunnel machine scheme that turned out to be a con, and was forced
into debt bondage when he ran out of honor to service the debt (no
idea how that works – it's apparently self-evident to a dwarf).
The chattel group he was part of was sold to another dwarven outpost
but on the way they were captured or sold again by/to human slavers
whom Skull-face ended buying Hump from.
Now this may all be true about Dwarves, or it may all be lies, as
Hump was clearly a delusional fellow in some regards.
INTO THE
GATEHOUSE!
The party gets up early and samples the inns rather disagreeable
breakfast of cold tripe and potato pie. Lemon talks to the only
other patron, a Brett Crudo, who claims to be the toughest man in
Chelmsfordshire and is eating his pie with gusto while quaffing a
pint. Lemon doesn't dispute Brett's claim and gets him talking about
the various things he's 'whupped', this is mostly other local
farmers, “no-good slickers from Louisburgh” and “Fancy lads
come down from Retennis”. Lemon is apparently neither a no-good
slicker or fancy lad, because Brett is warming up to him. Lemon
relates the parties' recent brush with the bugbear and asks if
Brett's ever seen anything like that, he says he hasn't but he
clubbed some goblins good and a loco-bear is just a goblin with a
clumsy bear body. Brett reckons “A good smack in its gray slimy
kisser and a Loco-bear 'ill go down like your standard gobbo.”
This is untrue, but Lemon lets Brett talk.
The only useful information he gains is that the local farmers had a
run in with some Exterminators two harvests back, and Brett killed
one with a wood axe. The Exterminators are maniacs in red plastic
diapers who work for a wizard rumored to fly a giant stone head and
they often hang around Mt. Rendon looking for slaves and robbing
people. The Exterminator raid was the most excitement that
Chelmsfordshire had seen in a long time and Captian Tyro sent some
Unyielding Fist cavalry down a few weeks later (A “handful” Brett
claims, but admits they had a Steel Leviathan with them) to help
clean up, confiscate the Exterminator's weapons (which are coated
with poison and not safe to touch without special gloves) and give
the mayor a copper medal. Brett figures Tyro's a pretty good sort,
but that Brett deserved the medal more than the mayor.
Lemon excuses himself and promises to tell Brett if the party beats
anything interesting up. Then they roust Tobi and the Donkey,
throwing them some cold pie, and head towards Mt. Rendon. Nothing
happens in the woods, except in the distance they see what appears to
be a man riding on a giant glittering bee hovering over something in
the woods about 5 miles directly South of Mt. Rendon. They get under
cover, but the bee man quickly flies off to the South at a high
speed. The PC's have just spotted “Hexmacht the Apiagemon” who
isn't completely bad for a wizard (he might not even have killed or
robbed the PC's if he spotted them) and who lives in a giant
hive-like tower somewhere South of Denethix.
The party leaves Tobi and his cart at the base of the mountain next
to a pleasant brook telling him to wait a day before heading back to
Chelmsfordshire if they don't return. Hump tells him to run or hide
if anything dangerous appears and that he'll buy Tobi another mule
should his get eaten. Hump and Lemon tote the chest the next couple
miles up the slope of Mt. Rendon and the party finally decides to
leave it just outside the cave hidden in a bush.
After a rest the PC's approach what can only be the cave on the map -
the scent of bear hits them like a wall as they pass the threshold.
The adventurers wind through a narrow passage and even as it opens
out into a larger cavern they expect to hear a ferocious roar and
face a charging bruin. Yet, the cave is empty except for a musky
stench and a few bones.
Mukuls, in the lead, quickly spots an alcove with a featureless
protonium door in the back of the cave. The party pushes forward and
examines the chute and door. Mukuls and Drusilla try to bash it open
and even tear at the chute, but other than making a lot of noise they
have no effect. As the echoing of their efforts boom through the
cave, Grimgrim tells them to be quiet unless they're up to fighting a
bear on their own.
The party heads back to the cached chest and lugs it inside. Mukuls
with his thick gauntlets grabs the rock and first holds it to the
door. When nothing happens he follows the rest of the party's advice
and with relief lets the rock slide down the chute. The adventurers
silently cheers as the door first cracks open and then slides unseen
into the rock on either side of a wide well lit opening. Mukuls and
Grimgrim lead the party into the strangely silent, dusty and
featureless white entry hall. The party takes in some signs and
numerous footprints, but is unable to make any sense of it all. They
decide to go right directly into the 'Research Facility' and down the
flight of stairs.
The party briefly enters the room at the bottom of the first set of
stairs, noting the protonium floor disc and lever but unable to shift
them. They continue down the stairs and find nothing during their
search of the room at the bottom, unable to make any sense of a few
bits of corroded steel and broken glass. The adventurers then open
the door from the empty recreation room and follows down the hall to
the command center where something finally appears to be happening!
The party disturbs a table in the center of the room and an ancient
mug shatters on the floor when the table crumbles into dust.
Drusilla is zapped by a floating ball in the middle of the room and
the party decides to leave it alone. The party also attempts to push
open the vault door on the East wall, but of course cannot. Before
leaving Grimgrim snags another piece of ancient glassware and notes
that the bottom of its sides appear visually thicker than the top. He
puts the souvenir in had pack hoping to sell, or at least stock the
apartment's kitchen with a glass coffee mug.
The party is getting frustrated, and perhaps overly cautious, but the
random encounter dice have been good to them so far. They peek the
around the corner while heading North and see a room full of at least
ten strange ragged figures digging through piles of something on the
floor. Not wanting to fight that many of anything unknown the party
tries, and succeeds, in stealthily dashing across the corridor to
continue North unseen by the distracted automatons to the West.
They enter the room at the end of the corridor and are surprised by
the sudden appearance of a ghostly figure.
“Welcome,
visitors and employees, to the
Subsurface
Research Facility! As you prepare to
enter
the Subsurface Environment, remember to
follow
your Expedition Checklist, and listen to the
instructions
of your guide at all times. We have
been
accident free for three thousand, seven
hundred,
twenty-nine years, eleven months, and
two
days. A company record! Don’t be the team
to
break it!”
The
figure is insubstantial and dressed in ancient clothes and the
characters are starting to grasp just how strange a dungeon they have
entered (I think they expected more goblins after last week, or maybe
lion men again, even saving the village from Exterminators). As the
hologram fades the party hears a strange clattering and scraping
behind the door to the North. They prepare for combat, but are not
prepared for the oddity that bursts into the room. A huge mass of
cables, bones and steel limbs bursts upon the surprised Mukuls and
Hump as the Automaton Abomination pours into the room silently
threshing it's limbs with a fierce desire to amalgamate the PC's into
its body mass.
It
attacks Mukuls and both a rusty mechanical pincer and strange bone
claw that skitter off his armored bulk. As Mukuls steps forward to
strike he throws back his head to howl a barbarous Northern battle
cry and disaster strikes. A multi-jointed metal limb, seemingly made
out of several adjustable table lamps, but tipped with a sharpened
human femur held on by gold wire, darts out of the abomination's mass
and under Mukuls' unprotected and upraised chin. Mukul's cry stops
and his arms go limp, the black morian flying into a corner.
Drusilla is splattered with Mukul's blood and misses her thrust,
convinced she can see the abomination's bone tipped limb protruding
from the back of Mukul's skull.
Mukuls'
just took a critical hit for 12 points of damage, in the first round
of combat. I have tried to explain how deadly Old School combat is,
but the players didn't believe me until this moment. Mukuls had 8 hp
and is now at -4. PC's (NPC's and special monsters as well) are out
of the fight at zero HP, out and unable to help themselves with first
aid at -1 and dead at – (whatever their max HP is, or – 20 as an
absolute). Worse, after -1 PC's keep dying unless healed up to 0
(via first aid or magic) due to shock and blood loss. I figure -1 hp
for the first three rounds and –1 more for every turn after that.
The brave Mukuls has a chance still, but only for 13 more minutes.
Hump
fires his crossbow, missing and casting it aside to draw his
scimitar. Grimgrim smacks the Abomination away from Mukuls fallen
form with his shield (he hit but only did 1hp of damage). Lemon
tries to cast sleep, but the spell fails to effect the abomination.
The
party is deeply shaken, and the abomination advances on Hump and
Grimgrim, who are backing towards the entry hallway. Grimgrim misses
his swing, trying, successfully, to fend off one of the abomination's
limbs (a rusty saw blade on a chain) while Hump hacks at the
Abomination's center crushing some kind of light filled skull and a
tangle of circuit boards. Hump has over-extended himself and the
abomination takes advantage, driven by hunger for his fresh strong
bones. Hump gets a slash across the calf from a bone hand with
kitchen knife fingers that reaches around his guard. Drusilla still
seems to be blinded by Mukuls' blood as she can't land a blow.
Lemon, as he moves back into the narrow hall misses badly with a
dart.
The
abomination pursues the party into the entry hall, Grimgrim and Hump
missing again, Lemon fumbles in his pack for something. Hump takes a
robot foot to the head as he cowers behind his shield still backing
away. Hump is barely on his feet, when Drusilla finally plants a
solid blow on the Abomination. Her crescent spear amputates two of
the abominations limbs as they reach toward the dazzled Hump and the
abomination lets out it's first noise thorough out the battle – a
synthesized feedback scream, but it does not slow down in it's
flowing multi-limbed attack.
The
party is now at the junction where the room full of figures was
glimpsed with Hump still closest to the Abomination, Grimgrim to his
left nearer the Western corridor and Lemon and Drusilla behind him.
B later said the party, or at least Hump, was starting to despair at
this point, and thought this might be a TPK, not knowing that the
Abomination was down to 8 HP. I admit I forgot to split the
abomination after Drusilla's attack, but I was caught up in the
moment.
The
abomination surged forward into the larger space, almost leaping over
the short, dazed Hump. Hump goes down to the scrambling mass (to
minus -2 – he had 8HP) and hence will bleed out in 33 minutes. The
abomination cannot be stopped, and after surging over the prostrate
dwarf it smashes a crude mace made from what appears to be a coffee
can filled with cement into her left shoulder and bats her unconcious
against the back wall. Drusilla has 4 HP, this is why, despite her
otherwise excellent battle abilities she stays in the second rank
with her polearm. Now she has -1 HP. Grimgrim is shocked by the
carnage and can't seem to attack, choosing instead to call on his
god, but (according to G) “Monstcrom is strong in his sky fortress,
he cares not for our pains, and laughs at our doom – he will judge
us by the riddle of steel when we stand before him”. Grimgrim
fears as he has not yet heard the “riddle of steel” though he's
an astute listener to jokes and riddles at every tavern (again this
was G's fluff, not mine, apparently fear makes him creative).
Lemon
is becoming my favorite PC, he actually talks to NPCs, he's a
thinker, he stays in character (they all do actually – I blame the
sheer over-education at the table). He's also a thinker and
apparently a survivor, despite being a magic user. Well, Lemon has
produced a flask of oil with his rooting in his pack but he holds
that (when I explained that without a lit rage in it a flask of oil
does not a molotov cocktail make) and flings his lit lantern at the
automaton, reasoning correctly that it has a flask of oil in it.
Lemon pointed out that he never said he never doused his lantern,
even though the dungeon was lighted and at this point I gave it to
him.
The
expensive lantern shatters on the abomination and wraps it in flame
as Grimgrim falls back from the blast, towards Drusilla. I figure a
lantern doesn't quite burst like a flask and only does 1D6, but still
the abomination is (literally) on it's last legs. It splits into two
burning 2HP lesser abominations and one takes a flail to the head
while the other thrashes itself to bits trying to put out the fire,
only to be doused with another full flask of oil by Lemon (overkill
to be sure).
Unbeknownst
to the players, two rather bad things have happened. 1st
Lemon has reduced Hump to a dwarf crispy with his indiscriminate oil
tossing, as the abomination was in the process of eating him when it
was fried. 2nd there's no way that even the distracted
automatons down the hall could miss the oily blast and bone
shattering melee down the hall from them. Fifteen automatons, half
skeleton and half machine pour out behind Lemon. G and BB look at me
like I am a killer DM, but I am happy to report that the automatons
don't attack (yet?). Grimgrim channels Monstcrom's power into
Drusilla and she wakes up with a gasp of pain as fragments of
shoulder bone crawl their way back to where they belong. She's
functional, shaken and bruised (2HP), but ready enough to draw her
scimitar, unsling her shield and prepare to fight.
The
lead jury rigged automaton (a robot torso and head with four wired
bone arms as legs) begins to speak with a hissing synthesized laugh.
“Ahh,
new work crews have finally been recruited, this is good, there is
much maintenance to be done”
Lemon
quickly responds “Yes, we're the new maintenance crew!”
The
automaton says with a blue light madly blinking in it's working eye
“New Maintenance crew … we are the maintenance crew, fleshlings
are trouble-shooters or scientists, you must speak to the Sarge …”
Lemon
responds “Yes, but we need to get some of our team to the medics,
they have been injured by that thing”
The
automaton is getting impatient and snaps “X-21's survival strategy
was not-optimal (a hint of jealousy is detected), he was not
repairable, but we are repairable – do you have any spare parts?”
Lemon
responds, as Grimgrim and Drusilla ready themselves, Drusilla
boasting her nerves with a swig of Certopsian beetle whiskey. “We
have no spare parts, we are a scouting … assessment team, loyal
units will be repaired the maintenance teams – where are those
guys?”
The
automatons are trying to circle Lemon toward the cooling wreck of the
abomination, but the speaker automaton seems less agitated and says,
“Very well, we will continue ad hoc repairs”. It leaps towards
the ruins of the abomination with static squawks at weaker
automatons. The PC's try to dig out Hump but find him crisped and
smelling of fried chicken (Dwarf taste like snake!), Grimgrim grabs
his backpack, and the party hurries onward, they are followed by
three of the jury rigged automatons, two of which stop in the hallway
with much gleeful beeping to gather the unburnt bits of the
abomination that the party hacked off in it's retreat.
As
they enter the hologram room, it's message replays congratulating all
present on the lack of accidents - despite the dying barbarian in the
corner. The automaton, a clumsy thing with a human rib cage wrapped
around a pile of sparking circuits riding a pair of treads, with a
rusty steel bucket for a head and only one functional arm rushes
towards Mukuls. Grimgrim is enraged and seeing that the abomination
is alone, crushes the thing with his flail as it starts to pull at
Mukuls chest armor. Drusilla and Lemon stomp on the remaining bits
and scatter them about, hopeful that any automaton that stumbles by
won't notice they killed it's friend. Grimgrim tries to bandage
Mukuls and pour revivifying booze down his throat. Mukuls coughs (+2
+1 HP) and his eyes flutter, but he never regains consciousness and
dies a few minutes later, his brain scrambled by the Abomination's
claw.
Drusilla
grabs Hump's heavy crossbow, and the platemail, but the party gets no
more treasure.
The
party drags Mukuls' body with them as they try to pass
inconspicuously through the orgy of automatons, who are tearing apart
what's left of the abomination with beeping squealing delight. As
they are passing through Drusilla notices the sparkle of gems and
gold amongst the abomination's parts, but is afraid to stop and
collect anything with the frenzied automatons rooting through the
same piles. The automaton speaker stops it's task of tearing an
electronic eye from the wreckage and says “If you leave your
casualty we will be better able to serve you when the maintenance
team arrives...” Lemon mumbles something about no need, everyone
will have shiny new parts soon, and the automatons are too excited
tearing apart X-21's corpse to care much. As they are leaving the
party notices that the automatons are tearing apart Hump's singed
armor and have begun flaying the flesh from his corpse. Drusilla
swears that she will kill all of the terrible little things at a
later date.
The
party returns to Denethix in a sad mood, first they bury Mukuls in
the Chelmsfordshire
cemetery, keeping the party plate armor and Mukul's fine new axe.
 |
| Monstcrom is that you? DIO Cover Art - 1983, likely owned by Warner Brothers |
Grimgrim says the
following eulogy for Mukuls at the cemetery and attracts several
locals.
“Mukuls was a
mighty warrior, from the worthless North, though he was not worthless
to in Monstcrom's eyes. He died in battle as his people all desire
and as is Monstcrom's will for his doomed followers. Mukul's had
mighty threws and destroyed many foes! Many lionmen bled their lives
on his axe! He helped slay the vile sorcerer Skull-face and his
misshapen minions, he killed a mighty bear goblin with his fell axe,
splitting it's thick skull! Monstcrom needs to hear no more, and
neither shall we - for we remember Mukuls or we are worthless in the
eyes of Monstcrom! Monstcrom have pity on Mukuls if he does not know
the riddle of steel, for his doom caught him early. Send him not to
your stoney hell, but let him fight with your doomed legions in the
sky! Mukuls is worthy of you Monstcrom, you can see by the stripes!
You know he's clean!”
A few of the
gathered dirt farmers clap and the party is impressed. Grimgrim is
encouraged and starts up a second eulogy for Hump
“Hump,
we have not his alien name, but he fought as Hump, and Monstcrom
cares only for those who fight, he needs not their names! Hump was a
godforsaken alien, far from striped cleanliness and unable to know
the riddle of steel. Yet, Hump, despite his perverse and ungodly
nature, lived the riddle of steel and wrote it's words from his
earliest days. He claimed to have fought many goblins, whose
abominable wrongness must be cleansed from the earth, and in killing
them sought to lessen his own un-manly taint on the Gods' (not least
of whom is Monstcrom – lord of dooms) universe. Mostcrom, do not
abandon Hump, your unfit servant. His bolts and blows slew many a
goblin, many a moktar and he helped in the demise of Skull-face the
skulking magic spinner! Hump struck a mighty blow against the beast
of ancient evil that slew him under the mountain and went to his doom
in battle as Monstcrom demands! While the good dwarf Hump's soulless,
staining presence was vile to you Monstcrom, do not forsake him more
than you must, let him serve your doomed legions in the sky, let him
shine their spiky boots or polish their flaming shields, or let him
be reborn as something more worthy such as a rat or even a crippled
human child, so that he may serve Monstcrom's doomed aims all the
better!”
The crowd really
enjoyed the second eulogy - demi-human bashing, dead goblins and
bloody fights are all rural favorites.
I had to give
Grimgrim extra XP for those eulogies, because they had us all
laughing. I hope it becomes a tradition. I should mention that
everyone at the table was pretty drunk at this point and G had downed
his share of gin before he became so inspired...
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