Session VI - Grave Robbing for Fun and Profit

The Party's Map of the Area to the West and South of Denethix

In which the party plunders poor offerings drawing the wrath of poison insects, appropriates a shrine and meets a strange patron. 

SESSION VI - The Adventurers

Grimgrim – Fighting priest of the fierce God of Dooms, Monstcrom! (M) Cleric 1

Lemon Jackson – A pantless wizard with strange yellow eyes and who tattoos himself with spells. (M) MU 1

Huxley McTeeth (Hux) – A gaucho with a past, clad in plains finery, possessed with in strength disproportionate to his years and small frame. (M) F1

“Eyestabs” Nell – A scary woman armed with many poison hat pins and a dead dwarf's crossbow(F) A1

Drusilla – Eleven lass of surpassing beauty(for a creepy eyed, fanged, and noseless monster), disturbingly unpleasant affect and taste for human babies - wields pole arm and scimitar (F) Elf 1

The adventurers camped in a morbid patch of woods just off of a narrow trial leading towards the green black bulk of the Obelisk of Unwanted Memory.  They are seeking some kind of talisman from the grave of an elderly witch on behalf of the lascivious daughter of a Lugosi farmer, and pile of grave goods on behalf of their own thin wallets. Above is the party's map of the known world:

It has been a rough night, Lemon has begun howling in his sleep, but the party can't really make what he's been screaming and he won't talk about it, just stare. In general he's less chatty than usual, or as BB put it “sullen”. The party leaves their horse, mule and the attack lizards in camp, with enough food and water for 3 days.

The obelisk looms massively out of the trees, it's taller than anything man-made that the party has ever seen, other than the wizard of Denethix's tower, and appears to have an evil greenish sheen. The party advances through the last line of trees and sees the base of the obelisk in the near distance surrounded by a tall iron fence. Three mysterious figures wait under the trees as the path appears to curve down into a dell. After a tense moment the figures prove to be strange black marble statutes with green malachite veins running through them. The statutes are rooted deep in the earth and can't be moved despite Hux's efforts.  Grimgrim takes a closer look and realizes that the statutes represent three graveyard gods of the orbital pantheon. The repulsive Boogeyman (in the guise of a child murdered in his bed), Delphina, goddess of dead great aunts and unwanted bequests, depicted as a woman with a fancy teapot in place of her head, and Baron Jackal-Mask protector of graveyards. Jackal-Mask is shown here as a dog-headed savage. Grimgrim relays the god's basic descriptions and notes that Monstcrom doesn't have much opinion on them, but that Delphina in particular is not “metal” enough to be Monstcrom's ally. Grimgrim then points out that it will “Resound to Monstcrom's glory should the we clear the graveyard of vile culties on behalf of these weak gods”.

The party prods at the statues, finding nothing but mute stone.  After a few minutes they give up and head past the statutes – Lemon thinks he sees the Boogeyman's gruesome visage wink as he walks by and imagines his own face in place of that of the murdered child. The obelisk grounds are now before the party though largely shrouded in white morning mist and hidden behind trees.  The huge obelisk is clearly visible about 40' to the East.

The party walks towards the obelisk, glimpsing some kind of small building off to the side between the trees. The path quickly emerges into a large packed earth circle around the obelisk, which is surrounded by rotting offering baskets, dried flowers and similar clay jars, each with a crude skull glazed onto them. Further to the East is a large knobby roofed building just peaking through the mist, while a similar, much smaller building is nearby, with broad steps flanked by statutes.  To the North there appears to be some sort of long shallow pond filled with murky water.

The party begins examining the surroundings, noting the mostly intact gothic iron fence, but even Nell's careful examination can't find anything to indicate that there's danger amongst the offerings. The party beings to methodically loot the jars and coffers scattered about and finds a mess of rotten food, 2 mummified baby grunkies (one with a miniature top hat), 125 cp, 32 sp, 14gp (8 of which is wrapped in wax paper), a silver tea pot, a bottle of scale brandy, three wax effigies, ashes, a set of silver knitting needles, a rustic painting of a bitter old man and a pile of hell money. As they are wiping sweat from their brows after the jar smashing, box jimmying marathon the adventurers hear a terrible whistling and chittering from the Southeast. The party has only seconds to grab up their weapons before a pack of large (3' – 4' long) insects with jagged saw toothed arms but otherwise looking much like giant fleas burst into the circle from all sides. There are twelve of the horrible beasts and a furious melee commences.

Much slashing and the ripping of saw limbs commences before the mass of insects is put down. The bugs' bite causes a woozy baffled state that makes it harder keep fighting and their serrated limbs are as sharp as short swords. In the end Grimgrim has healed up Hux to keep him from falling, Drusilla is winded and covered in superficial lacerations and even Lemon is minorly injured, The party was saved because Drusilla's sleep mist apparently effects the creatures. Weary and exhausted the party finishes ransacking the offerings, finding a mess of skulls, another bottle of brandy (promptly shared – and decent) and what appears to be a kit for a thief on the lam, (13gp, lockpicks and other tools and a map to a garret in Lugosi marked with the word “safe”) and a small worthless trinket on a necklace chain. 

The party is is in no real shape for any more pitched battles and retreats from the ichor stained circle around the obelisk carrying their pitiful treasures with them and discarding the trash. They rest for several hours at their camp, sunny spot by the side of the road, and luckily avoid the attentions of any curious forest denizens while Nell examines the thieves' tools she's appropriated (4 wandering monster rolls – and nothing).

Refreshed and respelled (Am I too nice?) the party ventures again into the graveyard. It is now mid-afternoon but the mist still shrouds much of the obelisk grounds. From the obelisk the party walks directly South towards the small building. It's a lichen and vine covered shrine with a a high roof the front decorated in rain pocked marble statutes and behind that a dome that rises to at least 30'.

Nell cautiously approaches making almost no sound, she rests her loaded crossbow on the wild lawn in front of the shrine and begins to creep up the stairs with a poisoned hairpin in each hand. At the top of the stairs she finds the doors tightly shut, but as there is no key hole, and they do not appear locked. The door is rather thick and Nell's attempts to hear anything beyond fail. She motions the other party members to come forward. Huxley pushes the door open boldly and its hinges screech. Within a group of 4 cowled figures, and a well dressed man in a top hat and blazer stand on a raised platform staring intently at something, while a pair of armored corpse greenish men with shiny bolts protruding from their bodies stand one on either side of the door. The men on the dais notices the PC's enter and all five reach to pick up bulbous copper maces for a pile to the side of the platform. The man in the top hat holds up a hand towards the PC's. The party halts, weapons at ready, as the two dead looking men turn stiffly and stomp to block the party from going forward.

Top hat says in a melodious voice. “Ahh pilgrims? Come to pay your respects at the shrine? Come to intern a cursed loved one? I think not … such fierce countenances...” “Why are you here interlopers, can't you see this place is sacred to the Gods?”

Grimgrim lifts his holy symbol (An iron Iron Cross with a steel skull clutching an axe in its teeth he says) and begins an oration “I am Grimgrim, favored of Monstcrom. I am a preacher, a reaver, a holy fool and the strong axe of Monstcrom's will! Me and my companions have traveled many miles that we may know if this memorial need be cleansed by Monstcrom's striped flames!” “Answer now, humble before Monstcrom or face my crushing flail!”

This does not have the cowing effect that Grimgrim clearly hoped it would and with a shout of “Papa Furter!” three of the men surge forward while one begins to channel divine power. Nell's long poisoned pin catches the man on the platform in the arm, and he lets out a choking gasp as the burning scorpion-man venom courses into his blood, but Top Hat does not fall. Two of the charging cultists direct their attacks at Grimgrim, but his shield, divine wrath and thick armor prevent their blows from landing. The third cultist's swing at Huxley is ineffective. Drusilla and lemon miss with spear and dart while the divine red glow emanating from Grimgrim's holy symbol drives one of the two dead men to its knees and then send it scuttling to the back of the shrine.

The man on the podium looks visibly better as sick green light pours from his poisoned wound and he advances on the party. The chanting cultist has also had some effect as the PC's blows seem slowed and impeded by an invisible force. Lemon removes an oil flask and begins to light it. The party, the cultists and the zombie all fail to land a telling blow, except for Drusilla, whose crescent rips into a cultist's chest sending him to the floor, conscious but bleeding.

Lemon's oil bomb splashes behind the cultist's line and flaming oil only splatters the man on the floor who was apparently attempting to call divine aid before the flames consumed him. The fight starts to shift in the party's favor as their heavy armor protects them better than the cultists largely decorative scale mail. Nell steps forward to neatly slash open the face of the cultist attacking Hux, who is too busy fending off the cultist and zombie to effectively attack. One of the two cult members battling Grimgrim is startled by the heat of the oil bomb and stumbles into a perfect skull shattering blow from Grigrim's flail.

Top hat is stepping forward to engage Huxley when two quick jabs from Drusilla first trip him and then pin him bloody and gurgling to the floor. The remaining cultists look bleak as their leader falls, but they have nowhere to run, as the party blocks the door. One manages a desperate blow that stuns Grimgrim's shield arm but the other simply mills unsure what to do with his comrades falling around him.

The zombie alone is relentless with it's undead strength finally smashing down on Huxley's shoulder and staggering him. The battle is a forgone conclusion though, with Grimgrim and Nell dispatching the remaining cultists just as Hux goes down under the zombie's hammering fists. Lemon drags him back as Drusilla, Grimgrim and Nell descend on the beast pinning it to a wall with Drusilla's spear and then hacking it apart as it tries mechanically to push it's free.

Huxley flings another oil bomb does in the cowering zombie in the far corner, and while the oil burns off and the smoke clears the party retreats to the steps outside. Huxley is revived with a slug of scale brandy, but it requires Monstcrom's divine aid to make him battle ready again. Even with magic, healing Huxley sports a fair set of bruises and a stiff neck. Grimgrim himself is less injured, though suffering from a sprained arm. The party decides they will need to hole up for the night, they don't want to leave the obelisk however, and wish to fortify the shrine they have just captured.

First the party searches the cultist's corpses, finding about 40gp in gold and silver, and brass holy symbols of Furter (bolts with a lightning shaped mark on the head) but nothing else of interest.  The platform proves to hold a god's eye done in silver and protonium, but the PC's leave it alone for now.  There are no windows in the shrine, and after disposing of the corpses by tossing them off the steps the party returns to the obelisk where they gather up one of the fallen sections of iron fence and use it to brace the spiked shut shrine door. While the rest of the party lays out weapons, strings ropes at ankle level, spreads oil in front of the door and prepares oil canisters so that any enemy smashing through the door will hopefully slip on the oil, spear himself on the fence, or tangle in the ropes and then they can be peppered with missiles and set alight.

Preparations complete, Grimgrim attempts to use the God's eye to reach Monstcrom. He manages to activate the God's eye with ease, yet it is not the robed cat eyed figure of Monstcrom Grimgrim sees, but rather a rotting claw wearing a top hat and studded with screws. An almost palpable rage fills the shrine as the claw screeches “I am Furter and this shrine is holy to me, and me alone, speak not the name of Monstcrom here!”

Grimgrim stares at the ugly god, but says nothing. “Who are you, where are my servants” the god barks in an only slightly less aggressive tone. Grimgrim says “I serve the Gods, and have come to cleanse this place for them.” The claw shifts slightly and says “Yes, yes this place needs to be cleansed – that is why I sent my followers here. You must meet them, there are many foul things that need cleansing here, my followers have suffered greatly. There are horrible bugs that destroy good corpses, and the mad god Bezonaught, known to you as the Boogeyking, resents my gentle leadership and has restored the souls of evil men to their tormented bodies. If you bring me the claws of five corpse eating bugs I will bless you so that my followers will know you – they will tell you more on how to assist me.”

The God's eye blinks shut and when Grimgrim again seeks Monstcrom's aid he finds only the top hatted claw, who says “So quickly, I see no claws, I have told you only I attend this Eye, go do my bidding, the obelisk is my holy demesne, though they may seek to usurp it.”

Grimgrim steps back and the party discusses what they saw. Grimgrim doesn't like the zombie god, and he doesn't like the Boogeyman, claiming that the undead are not 'clean' in Monstcrom's eyes (though apparently  many other horrible, alien beings are). Hux is all for going and peeling the claws off of the dead bugs they killed in the morning, and everyone but Grimgrim endorses this plan. That way the party reasons they won't have to fight anymore cultists and can just do a quick smash and grab on the big temple, where there must be better grave goods. As night wears on the party huddles in the dark, having forgotten to bring wood and not finding any fuel for the stone brazers by the door. The moonlight streams down from above through the openings in the shrine's dome and noises begin to leak in from the night outside. First there is a great deal of shuffling around the doors, and then a low shriek followed by more shuffling footfalls on the steps outside. Nell listens through the door, and before long hears the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone. She reasons something, maybe bugs, have found the cultists' corpses. After many minutes of horrible feeding noises there is a louder screech and the sound of scratching on the door of the shrine. The party prepares for assault, but it never comes. The door is tried, and indeed something slams into it two or three times, but whatever is outside (and it sounds larger than one of the bugs) cannot force the heavy spiked doors.

Late in the night, when Lemon is on watch (about the only thing he seems happy about these days is taking late night watch) the God's Eye buzzes to life. Lemon wakes Grimgrim and they approach the eye. Rather than Furter's claw like form there appears the languid body of a young woman, with a delicate china teapot in place of her head. As she speaks the teapot glows “Oh there is someone here, I thought so, hmmm it's been hard to use this eye lately, who are you?”

Grimgrim responds, “A priest of the orbital gods, pledged to Monstcrom, how may I help you goddess?”.

The Goddess Delphina replies “Oh no you cannot help me, my priest has been absent from there a long time, find him maybe?  I am disappointed, but then maybe he died – he was old. I've peeked in but some silly followers of that Reanimator hand have not been helpful, they don't really understand serving the gods, but I don't need the aggravation.”

As an afterthought “Perhaps you can speak to Jackal-Mask, he cares more for that location and it's beacon, he should know more”

Grimgrim says “Wait, how”

“Oh, he passes near in about two hours, 3AM I suppose, you can speak to us only at those times we are near, as the beacon is not responding.”

She disappears and Grimgrim is left wondering what's going on. Around 3AM there is a great chittering and flapping of dry wings outside as it sounds like many giant fleas are trying to leap up to the roof. Luckily they can't make up high enough to climb in through the dome's open skylights. Grimgrim approaches the God's Eye and furtively asks “May I attend Jackal-Mask Bonechewer.”

The eye lights up almost immediately and a gold canine mask fills almost the whole circle. The God's eyes flash about the room and a dry voice begins “Oh you, dogs, despoilers, robbers, carrion amongst my bone fields. I should destroy you all, but there is work to be done, and you will do it or I will chew your thighbones before the sun sets again.”

“Delphina said we should contact you, we aren't the cultists”

“I know who you are, grave thieves! Delphina is a distracted fool, and Bezonaught a beast, but I watch over my graveyards! I have work for you dirty worms! Harken!”

Grimgrim tries to look repentant and mumbles “As you wish oh God.”

“There are worse things than robbers, re-animators stalk this memorial now, and you will kill them. You have slain some I know, but their bodies were taken by Bezonaught's monsters and there are more that need killing. Kill them, drop them in the pit. My creatures will not molest you while you do my work.”

“Your creatures?”

“Yes, fool, the corpse fleas, though I have a priest on the way, but he is slow and will need your help.” “Slaughter Furter's followers and their re-animations before my priest arrives and I will reward you. While you are at it, clean up the mess Bezonaught has made if the opportunity presents itself, and beware the spirit in the main crypt, he's been there for years and there's little to be done.”

Grimgrim is confused, but says “Yes god” at which point the jackal masked deity disappears.

Grimgrim begins a solitary vigil and waits for the morning while contemplating the absurdities of faith.