Saturday, February 23, 2013

Slezgar the Elf - ASE NPC MVP -

 Slezgar the Elf is a stalwart of the Anomalous Subsurface Environment Thursday Night G+ Game.  He appears as a random henchman in ASE I notable only as "Elf, Male. Enthusiastic about hanging out with those short-lived humans."  In Pat's ongoing and original ASE campaign Slezgar became the party's first henchman in February 2009 and then their nemesis - captain of an anti-human Elven NPC party, ultimately ambushed and slaughtered in late 2012...

Well my players rolled on the same chart and they got Slezgar straight off.  My Slezgar has yet to show propensity for betrayal, and rather ingratiated himself with the party - as the only regular delver that can cast sleep and surprisingly lucky.  He's reilable enough that his being a hedonist and a bit of a creep, hasn't put the party off yet.  It has also been established that he makes frequent bemused quips about the frailty of humans and has a rather licentious way of searching for secret doors - the players don't ask much about it because it seems to work (again Slezgar always seems to pull a roll out when it matters).  So far Slezgar's only act of sinister elven gamesmanship has been to demand a 25GP per delve fee, and to encourage the other henchmen to do the same.  Slezgar is considering demanding a share of treasure instead, but hasn't gotten quite high enough a dried blue lotus grubs to vocalize it.
Slezgar the Elven Flaneur

Slezgar the Elf
Elf 1

STR 14 (+1 Hit/Dam)
INT 12
DEX 15 (+1 AC/Hit Ranged)
CON 10
CHR 13+1

HP: 4
XP: 1099
Spell: Sleep - 25% to cast it on everyone in area out of laziness.

Equipment: gaudy and somewhat risque partial splint armor, elven yatagan (1D8), Spell Book (several fragments of slate bundled together in old newspaper - sleep, magic missile, dancing lights), 20' rope, 35 GP

Elves Generally....

Elves are still eternal wanderers or xenophobic recluses rare to human society they don't seem to do anything, keeping to themselves, moving about in family wagon trains and trading mostly (with a fair bet of grifting on the side), but they're distrusted and avoided because of their strangeness and known androphagic tendencies.  Indeed just outside the range of human settlement are untamed elves, their true merciless inhumanity coming to the fore.  Raiders riding brutish monsters (obviously once humans now swollen into 9' tall masses of muscle by super-science and generations of selective inbreeding).  Below is a rumor table about ASE elves - to be consumed wholesale or to be dribbled out by barflies as normal rumors are.

Rumors Commonly Known in Denethix about Those Grey Skinned Baby Eaters
Elves eat other sentients, it’s in their genetic make up.  They consider most intelligent species delicacies, except for Dwarves, Halflings and Goblins, which they will not eat.
There are two kinds of Elves – the gypsy Elves that roam around in those colorful wagon trains and are all thieves, tinkers, prostitutes, con artists, musicians and charm sellers and the Northern Elves who live under constant military discipline and hate all outsiders.
Elves dress so garishly because of that weird wide spectrum vision they all have.  To elves, violet and chartreuse are a conservative and soothing color pairing.  That acidic orange they use on everything actually soothes the creatures, it’s naturalistic blues and greens they find revolting.
Elves don’t just lack souls – they have “anti-souls” that call out across the void to unnatural entities beyond the stars. 
Elves are a crossbreed between special goblins and humans, they actually hatch from leathery egg sacks.  Humans are lucky that it takes almost a century for elf eggs to mature, otherwise they’d have overrun everything.
All elves can use magic, who knows why, they don’t use it the way human sorcerers do, it’s more intuitive for them, so don’t even bother trying to discuss make theory with them.
Elves are immortal, but they don’t really remember anything longer than a few hundred years – sure they’ll pretend to, but they’re lying.
Elves aren’t really as jovial and carefree as they claim, they just think humans are a joke.  They look at humans like humans look at pigs, imagine walking around in a city of talking bacon – you’d be amused as well.
Elves are really fond of crossbows and weird polearms, it's ingrained in them – I’ve never met an elf that couldn’t fight as well as a trained soldier with either of those weapons, completely uncanny.
They love gambling! Elves will gamble on anything, you want an elf to do something, try betting him he can’t.  You’d better have the money to pay up, because those elves hold grudges and are a humorous lot about bets.
Elves in the North breed humans for food, they’re not like the elves done in the cities, they’re absolutely horrid.  Highly disciplined, obsessed with honor and war.  Those elves always wear garish uniforms and are never friendly.
Elves don’t really value life, not even their own, not anyone’s.  That’s why they’ll always betray humans, they figure their life is worth about as much as a sack of coins, and a human life isn’t worth more than a handful, being so short.


  1. Slezgar lives forever in my campaign, as he's inspired the Exalted and Chosen Brethren to enact "Slezgar's Law", regulating adventuring parties to prevent another tragedy like the one that befell him

  2. Oh The Brethren - My party hasn't gotten rich enough to come to their notice yet, though in the home game they ended up getting sent to die on the Certopsian front without knowing that who had sent them there (The Brethren)...

    Do I get your elves remotely right physical appearance wise btw? Not that I'm changing my way of drawing them, I'm just curious.

  3. Sure, big black eyes, pointy teeth, gray skin. You add the pencil-thin moustaches to them which is pretty awesome too.